


Failure.

by Beckon



Category: The Evil Within (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Flashbacks, Gen, Mentions of DLC, Team Bonding, Team Castellanos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-27
Updated: 2015-03-27
Packaged: 2018-03-19 21:04:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3624234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beckon/pseuds/Beckon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There was no doubt that, at that time, Mobius had been the best choice for her.</p>
<p>But now...</p>
<p>Now it was all too easy to see how she had damned herself with that contract; then again, she had never anticipated for things to turn out the way they did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Failure.

There was a time when she used to treasure silence...

But that time was long gone now.

As reluctant as she was to admit it, the need for silence was gone and replaced by the desperate need to hear someone- anyone- talking. She'd prefer someone who wasn't just a flickering silhouette of a man on the wall or on a broken TV screen.

She'd prefer someone who didn't speak with a voice that vibrated from an exposed throat just inches away from her.

She'd... she'd prefer someone who wasn't screaming that they were going to kill her for what she did to them.

...

But, given the grim circumstances, she could settle with the cat that contently kneaded on her ribs; its entire body was vibrating from the constant purring coming from its throat. Its black fur seemed to shine in the faint light and it looked humorous with the way it kept its head raised and eyes closed- thoroughly enjoying itself.

The cat had been all the more eager to share its couch and had leapt into her lap the first chance it got. It seemed even more excited when she decided to lie down to try to ease her aching body; it jumped onto her chest and immediately began tucking its head under her chin, desperate for more attention.

It merely seemed to enjoy just the thought of someone else being here with it.

Then again, it certainly wasn't going to pass up the chance to beg for a hand to scratch behind its ears either.

She had seen the cat a few times before and she still had no clue where it came from, or what kind of purpose it served, or if it was supposed to represent something. She had high doubts that it did, but... the small animal offered a nice sense of comfort in a shit hole like this. And while a black cat on a white shirt might've been a concern of hers at one point, in this hellhole, it seemed irrelevant.

She had collected enough blood on her shirt anyways; a little fur wasn't going to make it worse.

Plus, she wasn't going to ignore the poor thing.

_"You had a home, but now that place is here, with us."_

The words still played over in her head.

In a way... he was speaking the truth.

She had been rather desperate when she signed her name across the dotted line of the fresh contract. It seemed like an easy way out and those kinds of opportunities didn't just throw themselves into anyone's lap- especially not someone like her.

She had been in and out of prison since she was fourteen, or was she older when that pattern started? It was hard to remember the details now and days. Her rap sheet was... extensive to say the least- even the Mobius agent who had interviewed her was surprised by the numerous charges. It was either a miracle or the lack of proper reporting that kept her out of prison indefinitely.

It wasn't like she would've been able to go anywhere else. It wasn't like anyone else would want her.

There was no doubt that, at that time, Mobius had been the best choice for her.

But now...

Now it was all too easy to see how she had damned herself with that contract; then again, she had never anticipated for things to turn out the way they did.

And, as fucked up as it was, she had STEM to thank for that.

Mobius had chosen her first assignment to be with the KPD, a motion she found awkward considering her extensive track record with cops- as well as her blatant disrespect for them. But with an unlimited budget and seemingly unlimited power, there was hardly any effort needed for Mobius to erase her entire record. It was like she had never spent the last ten years of her life going in and out of prison.

They told her all she had to do was pretend and be convincing, to just play the part of the rookie Detective until they contacted her again. The job was all too easy to do considering it wasn't the first time she had to pretend to be someone she wasn't; she was pretty damn good at doing that already. And she would've found the job to be laughable if she hadn't been aware that there was a second part to it. Mobius had always kept that part under wraps- insisting that the less she knew, the better; she assumed it was a failsafe, just in case something during the assignment went awry.

It was an easy operation... or at least it should've been.

She didn't expect for things to get complicated the way they did.

* * *

_"Listen, I'm sorry Detective Kid, but I'm going to have to get clearance from your Lead before I can give you that information."_

_Kidman clenched her fists together to push down the growing urge to punch the shit out of the cop in front of her._

_It wouldn't be uncharted territory for her after all, but with her being a Detective this time around, it might make things a bit more complicated._

_It wasn't like she cared what name people called her by; they had the choice of either her first or last name, so it just never mattered to her. But Kid... Mobius always referred to her as Kid, like it was some kind of psychological thing he used to remind her that she owed him and he owned her. It still didn't bother her, because in a sense, he was right._

_But for this shit cop to stand in front of her and refer to her by Kid?_

_Who the hell did he think he was?_

_They were currently working on an ongoing case that had crossed between the Krimson City and Linden City border, so of course both cities and their respecting departments would be actively involved. And yet, because the LPD had responded to this particular murder scene first, the LPD officers working onsite somehow decided that they were in charge. So, for some reason, this low-tier officer felt he held the right to give out the scene information to whomever he chose._

_And, maybe in some cases that would work, but not this one._

_She had overheard him talking about the ongoing case details with nearly every responding KPD officer on scene- and yet, when she asked for specific information, suddenly everything was classified. It was clear that he didn't respect her higher position, and yet that didn't seem to stop him from spending the past half-hour blatantly checking her out everywhere she went. Not that she assumed his disrespect for her working position would somehow interfere with his all too obvious attraction to her body._

_Maybe she should shoot him in the dick instead- two birds with one bullet._

_"Is there a problem over here?"_

_Kidman stiffened slightly at the question and looked over just as Sebastian joined to her left. It was probably just the long hours they had been working, or the irritation this case had been giving them, but... needless to say, he looked pissed. Most days, he didn't seem like the friendliest or even the most approachable person, but this was like a whole level above that._

_The officer willingly turned to the older Detective and suddenly acted more professional than he had been just seconds ago. "Detective Castellanos, I was just informing your Rookie here that we're going to need your clearance before we can release information to her."_

_Oh, she just loved how he went out of his way to emphasize 'rookie'._

_She tried not to look directly, but she caught the way Sebastian narrowed his eyes and tightened his jaw for a moment._

_And she got this gut feeling that something bad was about to happen._

_"Is that so?" Sebastian asked, speaking calmer than she thought he would've. "I don't recall you asking for clearance for Detective Oda."_

_The officer seemed to stumble, if only for a short moment. "Uh well, as started, sir, she's a rookie Detective, so we would like to take extra precautions. This is a delicate case after all."_

_"Then explain why you were willingly discussing case details with Officer Connolly, who, might I add, isn't a Detective," he pressed._

_It was hard to fight back a grin as she watched the color slowly drain from the officer's face._

_"Explain that long conversation you had with Officer Douglas about the bullet casings," Sebastian continued. "Or how you told Officer White about the ongoing possibility of a silencer being used. Or when you and Officer King decided that it must've occurred around one this morning judging on the condition of the body."_

_She thought the officer was going to pass out right then and there; he looked utterly scared shitless._

_And it was either because his ugly, sexist behavior had been caught, or because his ugly sexist behavior had been caught by the six foot, pissed off KPD Lead Detective himself._

_Sebastian could look like an intimidating man without even trying, but in this case, he was definitely using it to his advantage._

_"No one here has time to deal with shitty officers like you. So you will give Detective Kidman whatever information she requests and I don't give a shit who you have to go to to get it," Sebastian finished. "Is that understood?"_

_Shit, she thought the officer was going to fall over as he gave a shaky nod._

_"Good, now she asked you to get something for her, so I don't know why you're just standing here."_

_Oh God, it felt good to watch the man practically turn tail and run off- not as good as it would've felt if she had shot his dick off though._

_But, she needed to retain her sense of professionalism- so she had to veto the idea of giving the older man a high-five._

_Sebastian gave out a heavy, irritated sigh and rubbed at the back of his neck. "If he gives you any more trouble-"_

_"I know, I know," Kidman interrupted. "I'll just come report to you about it."_

_"I'd say just go ahead and knock his fucking teeth out- it seems like you were halfway to doing it anyways," he remarked, before he turned to go. "Don't worry, I'll cover whatever incident report may go along with it."_

* * *

 She didn't think much of her new KPD partners at first.

She had skimmed through the files Mobius had collected on them and, based on her research, they weren't very impressive. And when she met them in person... they didn't make much of an effort to change her perception of them.

Not that they knew that she had already formed one ahead of time.

It was easier to observe the two of them when she kept her distance, and she often used the excuse that she was just watching and learning from them. After all, she was a rookie and she still needed on-site training.

It was usually Joseph who showed her the ropes and explained the different steps they took when evaluating a scene. He never hesitated to stop and explain his actions if she had any questions; often times, she would just ask things to try and figure out how his mind worked. There was no denying that he was incredibly gifted at what he did; it was almost a shame that he was wasting his talents by working for the city.

Although, she had wondered if Joseph took over her training because he didn't want Sebastian's work ethic to rub off on her. It wasn't like the Lead Detective was any less gifted; if anything, Sebastian was far more street-wise than Joseph was, but he also wasn't afraid to bend the rules if needed be. And while Joseph would argue and initially be opposed to the idea of going against the codebook, that didn't stop him from looking the other way when Sebastian did it anyways.

The two worked as opposites- and they worked incredibly well as opposites.

Before she knew it, they were slowly growing on her.

Which... she didn't expect to happen.

In fact, she never even took it into account.

The assignment had started out with her keeping a stiff exterior and loner attitude, which had been easy to do at first. She spent the first month or so staying at her desk and keeping to herself whenever she could; it allowed her to make quiet observations when the work was slow. It was much easier to keep a track on them when she was focused solely on what Mobius wanted her to do.

But, eventually she started to spend more time with them, mostly so she wouldn't blow her cover... and then simply because she wanted to.

By the second month, she started picking up coffee with them during their late-night working hours. She found herself enjoying the conversations they shared at the quiet diner they usually stopped at; it was always a nice way to get out of the office and away from work for an hour or so.

Hell, the three of them had even dozed off together on the break room couch one too many times between shifts.

All of those quiet car rides in the backseat? Those eventually turned into a game of convincing Connolly to turn the radio up to annoy Sebastian as soon as he got in; she had been successful every time with it too.

She used to just stand back and watch the two of them work around a crime scene without interfering. But soon enough, she was walking with them, tossing ideas around and carrying on full discussions about possible motives; and those long-winded conversations would last them the entire drive back to the station.

And when she didn't think it could get worse, she was the one who kept ice on Sebastian's knuckles after he had successfully punched out an unruly convict once. The convicted man had spit-fired several racial slurs at Joseph, and had made several, sexually-explicit remarks about her during his transport; the guy didn't last two seconds after the initial punch.

Even now, months later, she was still impressed Sebastian had stopped at one hit.

* * *

 

_Kidman gave out a heavy sigh as she watched Joseph speak with the paramedics one more time before he turned and walked back towards her._

_It was hard not to feel... awkward about the entire situation- and the sudden, blaring siren of the ambulance as it pulled away didn't help._

_He said nothing as he carefully bypassed the mess of shattered headlights, fallen bumpers and a single, freed tire. For a man who had just survived, and gotten out of a hell of a wreck... he barely showed it; his uniform was still neatly in order, although he did have to do a quick fix on his collar and rolled sleeves- which was utterly scandalous for a man like him._

_Well, actually, there was a minor tick against his uniform and that just happened to be with his glasses._

_His freshly broken glasses._

_She awkwardly tried to clear her throat as he moved to stand next to her, and leaned back against the same guardrail she was leaning on. From the corner of her eye, she watched as he pulled his glasses off once more, as though to re-examine the given damages. Even now, nearly an hour later, she could still recall the sight of the air bag deploying and crushing them._

_"... Sorry about that."_

_It was almost embarrassing how the words came out as a slight mutter._

_A short sigh escaped him as he pushed his thumb through the empty lens space- God knows where the shattered lens had actually gone after the airbag. Still, he didn't seem too... upset over the damages. "Don't worry about it. This certainly isn't the first time they've been broken on the job before, and it's not going to be the last. You get kind of used to it."_

_Always trying to erase the blame- she had to commend him for that._

_Rubbing at the back of her neck, Kidman briefly looked over to the wrecked squad car just a few short yards from them; she was at least thankful that it wasn't smoking anymore. Although the hood was crushed about halfway up to the windshield and the bumper was missing- she figured it had gotten lodged somewhere in the side door of the wrecked Mustang._

_This was certainly not her first wreck, and it wasn't her first wreck that involved a city-owned car, but... well, circumstances were a little different this time around._

_"At least we got the guy, right?" she remarked._

_Joseph gave a brief laugh and slipped his glasses back on. "One squad car down, two closed roads, three detours, one ambulance and one fire truck... but yeah, at least we stopped the guy."_

_Well when he listed it like that..._

_"... And one pair of glasses broken," she added as she tugged at her holster strap to distract herself. They were lucky neither of them had been injured in the least bit. The paramedics had checked them out and assured them that nothing appeared damaged, but advised that they go to the hospital later on anyways. She wasn't going to, but she was completely fine with telling everyone she did. "In my defense, it seemed like a good idea at the time."_

_"In your defense, it usually does," Joseph assured. "Hell, you should've seen the wreck Connolly and I were in last year."_

_"It's Connolly, so I'm not surprised," she remarked. "What happened?"_

_He chuckled briefly as though just the memory of it was bad enough, before he moved to cross his arms. "I won't bore you with the details, but long story short, Connolly and I were in pursuit of this escaped convict who had managed to steal a patrol car that was out on a call. Unfortunately it had been raining prior that day, so there was still some traffic backed up on most of the streets. So, this convict is weaving in and out between cars when he can and, when he gets caught in traffic, he pulls up onto the sidewalk and just guns it. Well, Connolly being Connolly decides to do the same, so we're on the sidewalk too- thankfully, there were no pedestrians out at the time. We're basically on this guy's bumper when he hits this pool of water and spins out. And there's absolutely no where for us to go, so he just spins back towards us and we take a head-on collision."_

_"Holy shit," Kidman remarked, unable to stop the words before they left her._

_"Yeah, I broke my glasses, three ribs, punctured a lung and dislocated my shoulder."_

_"Christ," she whispered with a short laugh. "I'm surprise you ride with him anymore."_

_"I made him promise me that he would never ride the sidewalk again," Joseph replied. "We ended up damaging a store front, the sidewalk we jumped, two city-planted trees, a fire hydrant and a parking meter. Not to mention, three ambulances, and two fire trucks had to be called and because the crash happened near an intersection, four roads had to be closed down for twelve hours."_

_"So, what you're saying is, this is basically nothing," she commented, as she gestured to the wreck site before them._

_"Yeah. Believe me, this is hardly worth the report I'm going to have to write for it," he assured._

_It was stupid, but... it was nice to hear that coming from him- even if he didn't mean it. Even if he was just lying to make her feel better, it was better than nothing._

_She heard his phone go off and watched as he carefully fished it out of his pocket._

_He took one look at the caller ID and gave a brief groan, which meant she didn't have to ask who was calling._

_Briefly clearing his throat, he answered it. "So you heard the news."_

_Great... she could only imagine how Sebastian was going to react._

_"Yeah, don't worry, we're fine; it was just a minor accident that's all," Joseph started, as he moved to balance the phone on his shoulder. The motion freed his hands, which allowed for him to readjust his gloves while he talked. "Well, you know how it's been raining quite a bit recently- all it takes is one second of hydroplaning... Uh huh, yeah- listen, we're fine, I said it was nothing to worry about. The paramedics already checked us over and left, we're just waiting for someone to pick us up. Hey, I still have those spare glasses in my desk, right? ... Yeah, it's nothing serious, the lens just cracked, that's all." he paused just long enough to pick his phone up once more. "We'll see you when we get back to the office, alright?"_

_She watched him with a sense of disbelief as he hung up the call and slipped his phone back into his pocket._

_"Nothing serious?" Kidman repeated._

_"I just bought us some time, you'll thank me later."_

* * *

 

The KPD office had once been disgusting to her.

She had gotten so used to working in the clean, sterile environment of Mobius that she could hardly fathom working in the less than stellar police department.

But like everything else, she got used to it.

The Mobius building was always silent; everyone kept to themselves with little communication to the people they were passing in the hallway. When workers did stop to speak to one another, their voices were always low and hushed- as though cautious about someone overhearing them.

Meanwhile, she had gotten accustomed to the morning shift officers who would often shout to each other from one end of the corridor to the next. She even got used to officers peeking into their room and asking about what they needed to do with certain crime scenes.

Hell, they once had the Forensics team come in and sit down in their office for two hours discussing little about the scene and more about the game from the night before.

She actually enjoyed the times when Connolly would barge into their offices and invite himself to the next thirty minutes of their day to talk about whatever was on his mind. The man was about as casual as the trait came, and he had no issue wasting his time with them. He always volunteered to drive them from one scene to the next- not that they really needed a chauffeur. Part of her figured he enjoyed their company enough to deal with their constant complaining at times; although she was certain he also liked to annoy Joseph any chance he could.

Soon enough, she could hardly stand the silence that encompassed Mobius.

She could no longer fathom working with a team that wasn't so... open towards one another.

There were times where just the thought of Joseph and Sebastian would keep her up at night.

The two of them were only doing their best for the city.

They worked the extra shifts when they needed to; they even covered shifts for officers who called in sick at the last moment if the Detective work was slow. She had caught the both of them occasionally falling asleep at their desks for a few minutes at a time- barely catching up on much needed sleep. But exhaustion never slowed them down; they just kept working and pushing forward.

Their sense of dedication was... admirable.

It was a shame to think of what the city would do without them.

...

She knew she had gotten in too deep when that thought first occurred to her. It had never been much of a thinking point, but one night she had just finished a call with Mobius when it hit her.

Whatever her second assignment was, it would involve them- but she was the only one who would matter.

Mobius had been adamant about reminding her that they were expendable and she would do well to remember that when the time came.

The words finally broke her down and, for the first time in years, she cried.

And it had made her feel stupid and useless, but... for the first time, it felt like she actively cared about someone.

And not just one, but three people cared about her in return.

* * *

 

_Her heart was absolutely racing when the car finally came to a quick stop- the tires briefly squealing at the sharp motion. She felt herself rock in her seat as the body of the car slightly jerked to the right before it straightened back out._

_It took the car a few seconds to catch up and ease into a position of rest._

_But it took her just a little longer to do the same._

_"Now just remember, you cannot tell Sebastian about anything that just happened," Connolly started._

_The words coming from the officer himself stirred up a quick laugh from her as she moved to brush her hair out of her face. "Are you kidding me?" Kidman asked, as she looked to the grinning man in the driver's seat. "You flashed your lights, jumped a median and two curbs, and you nearly spun out on a back road because of how fast you were going."_

_Maybe it was just infectious, but Connolly started laughing as well._

_"Like I said, Sebastian can not, under any circumstances, know about this- or I am a dead man," he replied. "He already looks like a man who could get away with murder, and I do not want to be the victim who could prove that theory."_

_She laughed once more, despite trying to convince herself that she should probably tone it down._

_After all, it wasn't like she could tell Connolly that reckless driving like that had always been a sense of entertainment for her. Hell, she would almost go so far as to say that she missed it. There was nothing like the adrenaline rush of driving too fast on a tight road with no clue what was going to be around the next corner. The sight of flashing lights in the rearview mirror always made it so much better too._

_Hell, he was probably just surprised by her laughing as much as she was._

_"Don't worry, your secret is safe with me," she assured as she lightly rested a hand on his shoulder. And, before the better half of her could stop herself, she lightly squeezed his arm and grinned. "... But twenty bucks says you won't do a donut right here, right now in this parking lot."_

_Connolly didn't even hesitate._

_He just grinned right back at her._

_"Well now, I can't say no to that."_

* * *

 

She joined Mobius simply because she had nowhere else to go.

Mobius was far from perfect, but after the hell of a life she had been given, and she had equally destroyed... it was more than anything anyone else had given her.

They gave her a job, a functional apartment, and a home; a place where she felt like she belonged.

But...

She didn't expect to go into this assignment and find a real one for herself.

She didn't expect to go into all of this and create a home out of all of the things she had missed out on- she grew up in a cult for fucks sake... How was she supposed to know what any kind of decent home was like?

How was she supposed to know that a sense of home didn't mean a functional apartment, or someone calling in every other day to make sure she was still on task?

How was she supposed to know that sometimes a home was a person?

Or rather, a group of people?

...

After years of looking and pretending she didn't care, she had finally found one... only to give all of it up.

Connolly was gone.

Joseph was gone.

Sebastian... maybe there was still a chance for him, but what was the point? He had lost the only remaining people he still gave a shit about- there would be no one waiting for him after this.

And she supposed that was something they would have in common.

No one would be there to give a shit about what happened to them.

They might as well be dead- it'd be less lonely that way.

Giving out a sigh, she moved to push herself up from the couch, figuring she needed to leave and continue on her way. Although there was no telling where the hell she needed to go from here...

The cat was reluctant to move at first and only crawled back into her lap to avoid being rolled aside, but it still insisted on being the center of her attention.

She couldn't help but to smile lightly as she scratched it before one ear, watching as it eagerly twisted its head into her hand. Gently fitting her hands under its front legs, she carefully lifted the cat up and held it at eye level; the gentle animal continued to purr and lightly patted at her face with its extended paws.

"I gotta run, Gorgeous," Kidman whispered as she lightly pressed her forehead to its own. "You be safe..."

She still had an assignment to complete.

Except this time, Mobius wasn't going to win; they weren't going to take anything else from her.

She didn't fight back when she should've, and she paid the price for that.

But she wasn't going to let her home die in vain- she was going to make it up to them some way.

She could still do this.


End file.
